Repitition isn't Catchy

This always happen, doesn't it? I don't get it. Must I always fight, quarrel and leave every time I think to myself: "I found her." This must be another one of God's way to prank people. It's not that I am not sorry. I am just agitated. I am just angry at myself for not being someone good enough. People go about saying its okay, nobody is perfect anyway, everyone has flaws. I am different in a sense that my flaws outweigh my good points. I have always tried to make people happy in the past but I guess since I met that bastard. He changed my view of the world. Screw him, this post is about her not him.

I'm sorry. I always made things bad for you. It pains me on what you said to me that night. Those ringing words cut my heart like blade through butter. I lost another precious person in my life.

Another Stage in Life

Uncle got a baby. Annoying one to boot. Trying my best not to involve myself in taking care of him. Nevertheless, I still failed my Taxation Paper Twice. People in my class seem to be very cautious of this sem. I feel the intensity but still I can't make myself study to the max just yet. Seeing my friends from CHS [not that I have many] gradually leaving the country got me thinking :" Things really have changed a lot" I still am unable to accept change. Unable to accept being alone. Current friends are kinda bitchy. I try to fit in, but I am just not cut out for this class. I feel like dying all the way.

You are the only one making me feel good about my life. I can't imagine a life without a friend like you to call /harass every night. I value our friendship to point that I would bury my feelings I have for you.... I would really catch a grenade for you. but of course throw it back la. =__=

Next up, watching almost all of this seasons anime AGAIN. According to Jian, this seasons anime is gonna blow up the world of all 宅男 [OTAKU]. I want to list out..... >< but oh well XD

I am doing fine nowadays without you. Though there are times i think upon the things we done, could have done. A sigh from my mouth, a cup in my hand and a sip of beer down my throat. To a happy life in the future without anyone. Cheers

Lately

I had a dream of me and another girl in my class dating, making out and marrying each other. I thought to myself: “Is this some sort of guy’s self-repairing mechanism to help myself forget about the past by indulging myself in the future possible situations aka hallucinating?”

I finished the book I so happen to buy. It was a story about a rectangle love story in school life. I find myself always falling prey to these sorts of books. Love stories that is… But for now what really appeal to me is complicated love. It made me think “hey maybe I should write a book to someday haha”. The haha really sprung out of my mind. Not in a amused sense of laugh but a self –mockery type.

It’s so hard to focus nowadays. God never seems to forget the importance balance. When one Is happy, he bestows upon them misfortune to help remind them to not indulge in it and vice versa. Bought a new com last month, and my external crashed, corrupted… 600gig of anime gone in a blink of an eye. Likewise, having problems in class left my heart weary and tired of life but then God gave me a whole lot of durian to worry about instead =)

I miss the days when I need not worry about petty matters. Can I only relive my past only through my cousin? I feel like I should talk to him, so stress lately. Miss his little sister too. They were the only one I considered my friends in my life so far. It’s decided. Once I settle down everything here, I will go over there and visit that bloody cousin of mine. Watch out Jian.

Hi there

It's been a while since I revisited this site. Many memories not really profound but still stings straight into the heart of my soul. There's this anime I watched up about time traveling. Things of the past that every type of human wants to change, forget and relive. It never occurred to me what would I do if I could send a text to myself into the past. Or what I what I could do if I really went back to the past. I just began to ponder upon it after watching 17 episodes of it. Since there is one episode per week, it took me about 7 x 17 = 119days to realize this fact == That's about 4 months give or take.

This few months in CFAB really gave me a bit of happiness compared to Catholic High. I've began to plunge myself deeper into experiences I never thought I would have went through. Bumped into some friends, some familiar and close, others TOO familiar resulting in a deep silence between us. Sighing is all I can think of doing right now. I really want to send myself a text to stop myself 2 years ago. I want to stop all of this shit haunting me. Maybe make myself 2 years ago to forgive you, relieve myself of all this cumulative hatred. No matter how I tell myself the impossible, it seems that I never tried to consider your feelings for all this years. How gullible it is. Maybe you're seeing this. Maybe you're not. I care not. Tis' my final and true wish for your happiness.

FYI: misopsychia carries the same meaning as misanthropy. Try searching for the meaning of that word instead.

Are you looking at the same sky right now?

Words that ringing within us. Words that hurt the most. Words that make our day. Words that you just said. How funny it seems that we both travelled so far only to be broken apart yet again. Wont you cry thru the phone as I comfort your voice and tell you you’re not alone. I missed my chance to tell you everything I ever wanted to say and you just left. People come people go. But when you went, it seems somewhat hurtful. Is it me? Yeah. It has to be me. Words yet left unsaid. Is regret the only thing that remains? Maybe yes maybe no. Some words are just better left unsaid. Some are just stupid thoughts that are not worth pondering let alone mentioning. Where are you when I need you? When I look up and see the stars I seem to be thinking of you again. Are you looking at the same sky right now?