Sucks

i dowana slp... i just dowana. coz when i wake up.... I noe its another day for to start missing u. EUGENE POH!!!! *slaps ownself* get a hold of urself. *bang wall* The war is gonna end. Few more months and i'm free from this chains that shackle me. Few more months and i'm gonna get away from u. And guess what... by that time I'm not missing you~~~~ *snores*

Blisters on Bastards

I did it again. Walking to ur hse. But i think its the last time i'll ever do it. The decision u made, made me decide as well... We were never meant to be. Even so. I stil clinged onto that slight hope. Hahaha... NAIVETY. I hate it. And so i left something behind while i was in the neighbourhood. I'm not gonna say much. Just that the barking dogs stil ring thru my head. Just that my feet stil feel the tar cover roads piercing thru my feet. The more i walked, The more painful it gets. Guess its just like love... And so i tell myself. No more. If i were to come by here again, i would repeat the same thing i did 2day. and so be it... I left my heart in front of ur yard where i did my moral project at. And I'm not claiming it back... Keep it or throw it.

This is wat i left. Yes. Its my sock. Few similarities wif my heart. Both are broken. And couldnt let go of them until i considered over and over again
And so my journey began
Hm... NO BLISTERS????!!!! O.0 fine.... =.=

Only you?

I try, i try, i always try,
but why does it always make me sigh.
I thought what i did could make you understand,
but nothing changed, just like the grains of sand.

Bet you don't even know I'm hurt,
never know how many puddles of blood have i splattered.
For you, my friend, my daughter or my love.
I'm confused over all of the relationships above.

But I clearly see,
One feeble memory.
Of you and him together,
the tot of it just brought up my anger.

Well.... Who am i to blame,
Coz if u rily like him there's no reason for this burning flame.
But I wish u would come clean and tell me,
not hide it like ur relatioship wif de previous 'he'

If u rily do like, love and wanna spend more time wif him,
then i propose its best for us to keep our relationship dim.
Its for the best
also to release this stress on my chest

B4 this i couldn't clearly c,
But now i noe u're no longer the old *********

One mistake

Can't we break this chain of hatred?

No.. Please.... I beg you

I'm sorry. I noe what i did to you was horrible and inhuman. Even i cannot forgive myself for doing dat to you. But... It just happen to happened. Mixed feelings of regret and sorrow dwells within me. I could not explain. I guess i dont have the right to explain anyway. Even if we cannot be frenz again. I wish u could juz set me free. this post is dedicated to you. My fren. I'm sorry. And i understand if u did what u have too. But i juz hope for dat slim chance dat u will forgive me. For what i did. My future. Is in your hands.

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The pain of your heart is nth compared to the teeth marks on my hand.

To A Fren i Lost,
Carmen.

Every aspect of death

Loneliness | Sacrifice | Nihilism
Destruction | Despair | Madness
Intoxication| Greed |Rage

It was by then i realized that i was filled with hatred more than anything i ever felt. I was tormented by guilt, convinced that I'd done something wrong. When people get hurt, they learn to hate. When people hurt others, they become hated and are racked by guilt. I was alone at 1st. I felt nothing. But then two people came into my life. Simultaneously. Different yet special in their very own way. It didn't take long for me to notice. I couldn't let this affection 2wards them be like this. Loving two people is just wrong beyond reason. I had to choose. If not. It would be like hugging a person while thinking of the other. The situation drove me into madness. Total madness from within. Or was it greed from wanting both of them. I do not know. but i know i had to sacrifice someone. I could accept either kindness or i would be too intoxicated, indulged in this sweet world. Its not healthy in taking the sweet. The madness destroying me from within, made me wanted to kill, to destroy everyone. A Hyde was manifested from within, carved from hatred, reinforced by madness. And now undergoing the lust to destroy everyone whom stands in his way. Even if it means standing against the authorities, even if it means committing nihilism. Going against the law, rebelling, protesting, using people rights as my reasons. I shall unleash the rage trapped within me........ And yet i rethink bout the stuff that will happen. It just lead to this total despair .that. Is what brought me to this conclusion. I will break them both. i dun care if it shatters my heart as well... IT. has been decided

Heaven / Hell

For does who noe dat i ended this blog, this is juz a place where i put things i cannot in my PM. A place where i put short quotes. My quotes. Or jus some lame poems i can think of. So its boring. Secara konklusinya, dun come to this blog again. Or prepared to be emo and bored.


When i couldn't play two piano's at once, i broke them both.
Stupid drugs. Just made me wanna take dose after dose.
Only after i lost both, only that i see.
That til now i couldnt choose, they are both dear to me.

So now i bid them farewell, for i broke them both,
They are the drugs alright. Dose after dose.



I stil c ur blog. Dno whether u stil c mine too. i noe its hard. but think of the bright side. He's better. and i'm juz a sohai. my presence will oni make u more agitated. but my absence will make evrything better. So.....Lets turn back the pendulum. and break the chain of memories that link us together.