Life is good

Tired... but happy for being tired. Working makes one numb. I dismantled a metal shelf that Uncle Richie asked me too. He shorten it up. I learned many things 2day. I went to many places. It felt like Pastor David was right next to me again. Though not a specific care, but I begin to feel accepted there. I'll prove my worth while and see how things work out. I'd love to be a permanent kuli there. Nights.

Working

Sorry Uncle Richie and Aunt Susan. I know i can't do much but move stuff. So please do order me around more. I'll try not to c avatar during breaks. Haih.... Salary will be nice but i really dont need it. Well... the washing machine really stinked man. One day I'll come over and help you rearrange evrything. I promise.

Back to the illusion. After Avatar: The Last Air Bender, it'll be Digimon. I dont care. Nights

Feeble and Foolish

When the sun comes down, we rise.
When the moon is covered by his light, we hide
We aren't the dark or the light
We chose dark but inside of us we are bright.
This is us
Emo.
Understand us, not judge us.
We didnt chose this
IT chose us.
It isnt just a personality
Its a way of life.
Its a type of power that keeps us going.
I bet you will never understand.
What do you know about losing?
You dont. 3AM???!! OMFG NIGHTS

Advice

Looking at albums again. Wanted to find another past. I smiled back then. With my father's friends. Drinking. While the their kids were running around like children. I was drinking. Mom took a photo of that side of me. I smiled. I was happy. I doubt that was me. I wanna find that happiness again. But... I discarded you. And so.. this is how another year will end. A new start? or will I drown in another despair in college. I dno. One friend of mine said.

"Dun look back, it has past us; Dun worry, it's not here yet"

He was dead serious. He wanted me to change my look, my personality, my life. Another said

"The more you intake bitter, the more bitter you get"

I wonder how much of that is true. I guess I'm living proof. As a closure, i will like you to stop this. Live your life. Don't come here. Or else... I won't be able to move on as well. Let me close the door once again.

You live in the light, I live in the dark

But I love you

lately

Awake and missing you as the rain began to shower within my heart. The way you move your fingers across my body was indescribable. The warmth the you gave is imcomprehensible. I loved you. That's all there is to it. Genting wasn't fun cause I was alone inside. Was forced to ride rides and had to beg to go home. Had to c happy couples walking by with hands clinging on each other. I envy people who can be happy. An inescapable fact. Seeing avatar without you by my side was sadder. It was dark and i wanted you. I missed you the whole trip. Beer was RM6.50 up there but to forget you even for a little while, I'm willing to pay. Christmas was okay. At least Liang's singing was nice and groovy at the church presentation. In the end, I had to spend my christmas night drinking sparkling juice with dad == This new laptop I'm using is going back to the shops. I slapped my brother til he nosebled for using it. Maybe it was all that pressure. I let it all out on him. I dun rerget. I just....... Hate myself. Looking upon the past, it hurts. Wish it was a snowing night.

My Heart Sank

那夜之后，我的世界变得黑白了
寝食不安，但也难免了
想回到过去，瞬间抱你在怀里
但我是否有那种资格
”我们的爱过了，真的不会再回来“
我每晚就这样折磨自己的心灵
但是你知道吗？我想你知道
我的怨恨，我的眼泪，我的世界
这是我的一切
这是你离开我以后的地狱
一旦独自，就直乱想东西
我想你知道，却不想让你看到
我这狼狈的一面


时间停顿了，我被困锁在“回忆”的监狱里。

Confused in this Run

Can't focus.... My body is still puzzled about what to do.
I'm trembling.... I can't stop even if I try to control myself.
"Although neither the sun nor the moon are on my side, I've no choice but to try,"
Those were the words I muttered to myself.

The odds aren't on my side, but running away would be gutless.
Even if I can't see the future, I'll just have to win it over with courage.
Need to keep distance from the target as I hold myself back.
All that's needed for victory is the pride to win.

Will I celebrate with the wine of victory?
Or will I end up kissing their feet in defeat?
There are two outcomes in everything. But still
I wanna control destiny.

I need to seize these Golden Times, I'll grab it with these hands
I'll finish it up with my best poker face
Drag us all into that world of illusion

I'll find my way out of this endless pressure game
And leap over the border line of honor
HOW MANY? HOW MANY MORE DO I NEED TO PAY?
What is that one thing I dowana let go?

Proof is stronger than an argument
And basically you win if you produce the results
Silence is forbidden and it'll all be revealed as time goes by
Sharpening my senses, and reading the flow meticulously
I'll decipher the percentage of my winning chances with my game senses
Is that silhouette the Devil?
"If you're a man then act like one and face your defeat with grace"

A smile like that of a Goddess
I'm possessed by your charm
You invite me deeper as I fall
A greed that has taken over my heart
And a dream that won't stop growing
No one can stop me
Bask in the glory of the sunlight atop the babel tower

I tot I could reach you

But now its impossible