mahai

SOHAI..... one word that tingles in my mind when i think about the way u present yourself. You should just die early. really..... I told myself. What the fuck are you doing here so many times... You wanna be one that stands out, and now you really do, as an asshole. How can i keep myself calm under these circumstances. Why do ppl even try to challenge my patience? How many more stupid misrepresentations can u make? I swear upon my life that one more word from you and you'll c chairs flying higher than how i threw it at you just now. Fuckyou. Fuck off

First In Still Here

One day , people will die and fade away.
One day , we will have to part with those we cherish.
Why bother in loving one when we know the effort is all in vain?
Why bother caring for one when God toys us as the mortals we are?
We have yet to understand the things that God decided
We just needed each other. A feeble desire
Loving one. What does it truly mean?
Does it mean a desire for someone to the extent that defies all known knowledge?
Does it mean a craving for touch and haptic sensuality?
Trying our best to obtaining warmth from each other?
No.
It's more than that. It's mare than just mortal wants
Love to me is more like a feeling for being accepted of who i am?
U accepted who i am. U gave me sudden reason in this messed up life.
U gave me a place to belong. Though temporarily yet beautiful as it always had been
Love.....
I long forgotten that feeling that runs through my blood.
I long forgotten the things that I really treasure the most.
I long forgotten you. The one i love....

Wish Upon A Star

I once was a naïve fool. I once asked for nothing but a living. And then vengeance took over me. I hate him. I hate my family. I hate my life. Everything about me was wrong. I made the biggest mistake ever. Right as of now, I thought I got over this matter. I thought all that I have been fighting for was meaningless. All but an illusion. But I couldn’t . I never gotten over the matter. History makes its final attempt to repeat itself. Sometimes I wonder to myself. Where did I do wrong? Why couldn’t I be more open? Why do I need to suffer bcoz of tiny mistakes? I ponder upon the answer while I look back onto the past. I think of you and him embracing love as it is. I sigh with a cup of beer in my hands. I cry with scent of alcohol in my sleep. I wished upon a star. Let me forget the days we had. Let me stop thinking about the days we could have. Let me forget about everything. It’s for the best. Please let me rest. Why am I so stresssssssssssssssss? What does it take to escape you? Is death the only way of escaping? I do not know. Happy birthday and goodbye

Turn Off

everyone comes with baggage.
be it one as light as a pouch,
or deluxe doubles as heavy and complicated as malaysian politics.

i don't know how did u figure out that i get alot of stories from alot of ppl, but your story, to be honest, was one of the most complicated.
and one of the most unsolvable.

consider it the past, because it really is.

coming to college is a chance for a do over. an opportunity to start anew.
im not saying you should forget the past, but you can use it to your benefit.
it is not something that brings you down, it is what empowers your decision making in the future.

quoting from a friend of mine,
''People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories; diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere & though the cut is long gone, the pain still lingers.''

but yet, the scars remind you that u should live better.
life, is all about choices.

sincerely,
the one that likes sitting onn the table.


thank you. this is the only usable advice i had so far
thank you

When my life caves in

The world is such fragile being. Humans are such feeble entities. We, living as one, cannot deny the fact that we were once naive enough to think that everything would be alright. Only through true despair may one truly understand the pain of living, the pain of having acquaintances leaving. The way you left me as my eyes were wet that night. I watched your back disappear into the horizon. The black-tar pavements pierce my feet. Your cold feelings pierce my heart. The way you took and they way i took. The person you chose and the person i chose. We...... no. I..... made the mistake of a lifetime. The downfall in my life. The pain that keeps my awake. The screams that remind me of the past. I HATE. I HATE. I HATE.... hatred devours my very conscience. the end.