June 28

today... was a real sad day.. i finished toradora! but that made it even sad. fuck it. another tear jerker. though i'm the only one who would cry over these trivial anime. Triangular Love drama. To c all of this while my dearest Cpu broke down. Relying on Laptop. Anyway.

The story of toradora goes like this. Guy A and Guy B are frenz. Girl A and Girl B are frenz. Girl A likes Guy B and Guy A likes Girl B. Girl A and Guy B know that they like each others frenz. So they promised not to reveal each others true intentions but at the same time helping each other to confess to the one they love. As time pass by, Girl A found out that Guy B already has someone he loves very much. Devastated by the fact, she fell into despair. but Guy A nvr gave up on Girl A and encouraged her to keep trying. That was when Girl A knew that all this while, the one who helped and supported her all the while wasnt Guy B, but Guy A. At this moment Girl A accidentally fell in love with Guy A but the story doesnt end there. Girl A is aware that Guy A loves Girl B very much. She keeps on smiling and supporting Guy A as he did for her, but it rily hurt her. Girl B found out Girl A's true feelings. and... when Guy A mustered all the courage to confess to Girl B, Girl B rejected Guy A . Girl B really loved Guy A too but she knew she couldnt just sacrifice her fren for love. Girl B gave up on love. she was afraid of getting hurt or hurting Girl A. Guy A was broken hearted after the rejection. Girl A got into a fight with Girl B, telling Girl B to be true to her feelings. Girl B gave a straight up reply:" but you're lying to yourself too, aren't you?" Girl A shouted:" YES!!! I'M THE BIGGEST LIAR!!! I'VE STAYING BY HIS SIDE ALL THIS TIME!!! SAYING 'go get her' TO HIM EVRYTIME BUT GETTING MYSELF HURT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I..I.. i love him.. . I LOVE HIM TOO!!!!" Guy A arrived at the moment, hearing evrything. Girl A ran ... and ran.. and ran.. Girl B pass by Guy A saying:" This is why i cannot accept your feelings. it's coz someone else loves you more than i could ever love you." Guy A shed a tear.... and started to chase after Girl A. Not knowing the pain Girl A has gone thru. Girl A slipped and fell into a shallow river. Guy A went down the river and tried to help her up but ended up slipping as well.. They laughed at each other and confessed to each other as well.. Kissing in the river as the sun sets. The end.

If i watched this anime as it was aired in 2008, i would have nvr understood its true meaning. The meaning of sacrificing. The meaning of love. I'm glad i'm watching it now.

my past

this life. i curse it. this personality. i condemn it. this past. i fight it. and i lose. i nvr win. so what do you want of me now? tell me something in which i can compensate logically and non-fanatic. tell me something which i can really do. actually. you need not answer this question. for i know. the answer is suffer. there is nothing i can do to make up for you. just go ahead and mock me all you want. i deserve it. heck!!! if you wont do it, i'd feel much worse. anniversary of me being a pervert. if only it were true. im a full timer. i dun have this lycanthropy once a year you know. well.. not trying to argue since i rily deserve all the shit im currently facing. anyway good news for you anti-eugene poh's out there. my college life sucks. and you know what that means. YES. my life in college is far worse than what i experience in CHS. i sit alone, eat alone, and mostly study alone. wasting my life as a nerd. if you think this isnt punishment enough then..... hmm... then screw you lar =D

DotA

When i was free, i would sleep and study. Now I'm free, i would dotA, snooker, drink beer, work out. I heard about an old fren y'day. i guess i would nvr surpass him in any terms. its alright.. I'm happy the way I am. The tide has resided already. I dont wanna think anymore about it. 2day's sports day.... and i have class later. but mayb its for the best. I dowan look at her in rumah shirt. it rily turned me on. == haih.. accounting.... A road i choose and swore to nvr regret. and he. not studyin. the other he in a foreign land striving to be more successful. i feel minor but happy... or is this just the calm b4 the storm. right as of now i can do nothing but relax in studies and dota. XD thank you yiwei, yuanbin, linfoong and ben

Bus Stop

I never tot that i'd walk that orange brick road ever again. It was so nostalgic. I'd rmbr the 1st time i walked upon it was.. with you. Now... look at us. Disgusted with each other. I'm left alone, you have someone you truly desire. I have the broken, you are healed whole. I feed on hatred. You'd live every single day of your life happy. I .... wanna cry. On the other hand, I'm slowly healed by ppl that stil not know that bad part about me. Mayb this hope is what i've been waiting for. but the fear of trusting ppl is alwiz present within me. Should i go? or should i stay? I just wanna walk upon that orange brick road once again

Pain

maybe i'd wanted to be there for you. but i couldnt... I cant. i cant forget that pain of losing. again and again. it's excruciating pain.... u oso felt that too. you moved on. but i couldnt. she was evrything to me. unlike me, you have frenz and a family that loves you more than anythin. But me.... i like a guy on a debt that can never be repaid. But at least u have someone for you la.... although. i dno whether he can do the job right... or to be exact.. i dno whether you allowed the relationship to continue considering her situation. but i know one thing..... i ... actually cared for you.. you may notice it .. you may not... but one things for sure.. i had feelings.. but just that.... im not in the mood for this drama. Finally things quiet down. I hate it but i need it... time to chill...... I'm sorry. I admit. I had feelings for you. Goodbye..... Goodluck and sorry. nights