Lately

I had a dream of me and another girl in my class dating, making out and marrying each other. I thought to myself: “Is this some sort of guy’s self-repairing mechanism to help myself forget about the past by indulging myself in the future possible situations aka hallucinating?”

I finished the book I so happen to buy. It was a story about a rectangle love story in school life. I find myself always falling prey to these sorts of books. Love stories that is… But for now what really appeal to me is complicated love. It made me think “hey maybe I should write a book to someday haha”. The haha really sprung out of my mind. Not in a amused sense of laugh but a self –mockery type.

It’s so hard to focus nowadays. God never seems to forget the importance balance. When one Is happy, he bestows upon them misfortune to help remind them to not indulge in it and vice versa. Bought a new com last month, and my external crashed, corrupted… 600gig of anime gone in a blink of an eye. Likewise, having problems in class left my heart weary and tired of life but then God gave me a whole lot of durian to worry about instead =)

I miss the days when I need not worry about petty matters. Can I only relive my past only through my cousin? I feel like I should talk to him, so stress lately. Miss his little sister too. They were the only one I considered my friends in my life so far. It’s decided. Once I settle down everything here, I will go over there and visit that bloody cousin of mine. Watch out Jian.

Hi there

It's been a while since I revisited this site. Many memories not really profound but still stings straight into the heart of my soul. There's this anime I watched up about time traveling. Things of the past that every type of human wants to change, forget and relive. It never occurred to me what would I do if I could send a text to myself into the past. Or what I what I could do if I really went back to the past. I just began to ponder upon it after watching 17 episodes of it. Since there is one episode per week, it took me about 7 x 17 = 119days to realize this fact == That's about 4 months give or take.

This few months in CFAB really gave me a bit of happiness compared to Catholic High. I've began to plunge myself deeper into experiences I never thought I would have went through. Bumped into some friends, some familiar and close, others TOO familiar resulting in a deep silence between us. Sighing is all I can think of doing right now. I really want to send myself a text to stop myself 2 years ago. I want to stop all of this shit haunting me. Maybe make myself 2 years ago to forgive you, relieve myself of all this cumulative hatred. No matter how I tell myself the impossible, it seems that I never tried to consider your feelings for all this years. How gullible it is. Maybe you're seeing this. Maybe you're not. I care not. Tis' my final and true wish for your happiness.

FYI: misopsychia carries the same meaning as misanthropy. Try searching for the meaning of that word instead.

Are you looking at the same sky right now?

Words that ringing within us. Words that hurt the most. Words that make our day. Words that you just said. How funny it seems that we both travelled so far only to be broken apart yet again. Wont you cry thru the phone as I comfort your voice and tell you you’re not alone. I missed my chance to tell you everything I ever wanted to say and you just left. People come people go. But when you went, it seems somewhat hurtful. Is it me? Yeah. It has to be me. Words yet left unsaid. Is regret the only thing that remains? Maybe yes maybe no. Some words are just better left unsaid. Some are just stupid thoughts that are not worth pondering let alone mentioning. Where are you when I need you? When I look up and see the stars I seem to be thinking of you again. Are you looking at the same sky right now?

mahai

SOHAI..... one word that tingles in my mind when i think about the way u present yourself. You should just die early. really..... I told myself. What the fuck are you doing here so many times... You wanna be one that stands out, and now you really do, as an asshole. How can i keep myself calm under these circumstances. Why do ppl even try to challenge my patience? How many more stupid misrepresentations can u make? I swear upon my life that one more word from you and you'll c chairs flying higher than how i threw it at you just now. Fuckyou. Fuck off

First In Still Here

One day , people will die and fade away.
One day , we will have to part with those we cherish.
Why bother in loving one when we know the effort is all in vain?
Why bother caring for one when God toys us as the mortals we are?
We have yet to understand the things that God decided
We just needed each other. A feeble desire
Loving one. What does it truly mean?
Does it mean a desire for someone to the extent that defies all known knowledge?
Does it mean a craving for touch and haptic sensuality?
Trying our best to obtaining warmth from each other?
No.
It's more than that. It's mare than just mortal wants
Love to me is more like a feeling for being accepted of who i am?
U accepted who i am. U gave me sudden reason in this messed up life.
U gave me a place to belong. Though temporarily yet beautiful as it always had been
Love.....
I long forgotten that feeling that runs through my blood.
I long forgotten the things that I really treasure the most.
I long forgotten you. The one i love....