No.. Please.... I beg you

I'm sorry. I noe what i did to you was horrible and inhuman. Even i cannot forgive myself for doing dat to you. But... It just happen to happened. Mixed feelings of regret and sorrow dwells within me. I could not explain. I guess i dont have the right to explain anyway. Even if we cannot be frenz again. I wish u could juz set me free. this post is dedicated to you. My fren. I'm sorry. And i understand if u did what u have too. But i juz hope for dat slim chance dat u will forgive me. For what i did. My future. Is in your hands.

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The pain of your heart is nth compared to the teeth marks on my hand.

To A Fren i Lost,
Carmen.

Every aspect of death

Loneliness | Sacrifice | Nihilism
Destruction | Despair | Madness
Intoxication| Greed |Rage

It was by then i realized that i was filled with hatred more than anything i ever felt. I was tormented by guilt, convinced that I'd done something wrong. When people get hurt, they learn to hate. When people hurt others, they become hated and are racked by guilt. I was alone at 1st. I felt nothing. But then two people came into my life. Simultaneously. Different yet special in their very own way. It didn't take long for me to notice. I couldn't let this affection 2wards them be like this. Loving two people is just wrong beyond reason. I had to choose. If not. It would be like hugging a person while thinking of the other. The situation drove me into madness. Total madness from within. Or was it greed from wanting both of them. I do not know. but i know i had to sacrifice someone. I could accept either kindness or i would be too intoxicated, indulged in this sweet world. Its not healthy in taking the sweet. The madness destroying me from within, made me wanted to kill, to destroy everyone. A Hyde was manifested from within, carved from hatred, reinforced by madness. And now undergoing the lust to destroy everyone whom stands in his way. Even if it means standing against the authorities, even if it means committing nihilism. Going against the law, rebelling, protesting, using people rights as my reasons. I shall unleash the rage trapped within me........ And yet i rethink bout the stuff that will happen. It just lead to this total despair .that. Is what brought me to this conclusion. I will break them both. i dun care if it shatters my heart as well... IT. has been decided

Heaven / Hell

For does who noe dat i ended this blog, this is juz a place where i put things i cannot in my PM. A place where i put short quotes. My quotes. Or jus some lame poems i can think of. So its boring. Secara konklusinya, dun come to this blog again. Or prepared to be emo and bored.


When i couldn't play two piano's at once, i broke them both.
Stupid drugs. Just made me wanna take dose after dose.
Only after i lost both, only that i see.
That til now i couldnt choose, they are both dear to me.

So now i bid them farewell, for i broke them both,
They are the drugs alright. Dose after dose.



I stil c ur blog. Dno whether u stil c mine too. i noe its hard. but think of the bright side. He's better. and i'm juz a sohai. my presence will oni make u more agitated. but my absence will make evrything better. So.....Lets turn back the pendulum. and break the chain of memories that link us together.

The End

Its been fun blogging. When u started it dat is.... okay... and so the orchestra has ended, the band dismantled, the last piece of the puzzle has been placed.

THE END!!! (;

Neither dawn nor dusk, I walk the way of the Twilight.

i shall officially let my blog rot....... i cant freaking get used to form5. I'm serious man. go ahead and laugh but dats a fact lar man..... i seriously stressed out here. The teachers are like wanting us to feel stresed. Gah... ESPECIALLY lim yoke keng aka KENG JIE. LOL i dowan to tok more bout my life. Too many ups and downs. And now i'm gonna let myself drown in the pain i created for myself... i hate this feeling. get out of my F***ing mind.... LOVE IS ALWAYS A LIE. dats y i'll never fall in love again =] but this feeling URGH!!!! note to self: "without you" by hinder is the new "so what"

okay end story.

NOTE: THIS POST IS JUST CRAP, CRAP AND MORE CRAP. i just want people who view this blog to know. I'M NOT GONNA BLOG UNTIL I HAVE FAITH DAT I CAN SCORE IN SPM =]

EXTRA NOTE: ITS 8.30PM. I only got 3 pages of my chemistry folio done. Hahahah XP the below is my marks for the 1st term. I'll getting 2nd in class. AGAIN.

BM: <-----
BC: <---- I havnt get. but i noe i wont score =.=
BI: <-----
SJ: 58
PM: 66
FZ: 64
KM: 77
AK: 93
AM: 79
MM: 95
X]